Saturday, July 31, 2010

Dear Mom,

... When you can't "verbally" say it, ... but you need to say it...

Dear Mom,

I love you.  You're great.  I've always known that!  You are an inspiration to me, I want you to know that.  It takes more than guts to go after what your heart wants.  I never fully understood that until I too entered the "creative world".  I'm one of the lucky few to have parents support me whole heartedly for me to pursue my dream in this fabulous "creative world".  What I'm learning from my surroundings is it's rare for parents to "emotionally" back their daughters in this field.  Most aspire for their kids to be doctors, lawyers, finance CEO's ;) [wink... that's where I was headed] ... Sure the parents "fit the bill" for their kids, but there is no emotional support -- that is priceless.  You've always supported me - pushed me to want to reach my full potential.  For this, in my life, I will!  To some degree, I already have, but I have big goals for my life -- and I know I will get there.

I'm lucky to have you as my mom.  I can only hope and pray that someday I too can have a daughter that would feel the same way about me.

Some can take the easy road.  But for me to really get it -- I guess I've had to take the road less traveled on.  However, I've never felt alone -- you've always been there.  When I was sick in Hawaii, basically on my death bed, you were there all the time -- I will never forget that.  I think of those times way more often than you may realize.

You and my dearest daddy are wonderful people.  I still don't know how I deserve you both as my parents.

I'm sure I've still got a lot of learning to do... but I'm gett'in there.

I know God loves me dearly -- because of the family he gave me.

I love you all!  Thanks for always supporting me - even when I have a hard head, you are still there.  You're the best!

Love,  Elena
Your one and only daughter! [thank goodness - right?! ;)]

*** This article is dedicated to my mommy dearest, the only mom who would ever really get me -- I'm lucky!  I love her!  This article is intended for you to be inspired to write a letter to who has inspired you.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Hollywood's Not America

This song was "figuratively" written about me... my journey...

Born ELENA jane
With a restless soul
She moved west to California
Became a centerfold.

But once you change your name
Well the pieces fall
Now she hardly recognizes herself at all.

And there's never any rain when you want it
A hollow little game, and you've won it
Looking for a thrill but you've done it all.

So long, put your blue jeans back on girl
Go home
Remember Hollywood's not America
So long, put your blue jeans back on girl
Go home
Remember Hollywood's not America.

And everybody here is from somewhere else
You could make a million dollars, but you might lose yourself
And you can take the heat, will your heart go cold?
They say acting's just pretending, but even that gets old.

And there's never any rain when you want it
A hollow little game, and you've won it
Looking for a thrill but you've done it all.

So long, put your blue jeans back on girl
Go home
Remember Hollywood's not America
So long, put your blue jeans back on girl
Go home
Remember Hollywood's not America.

And I know what to do when
I know that you

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Single White Female Liv'in in LA

So here I am in LA.  Again witnessing at least ten mentally insane people a day.  I am also amongst the Hollywood stars aka the people everyone has seen in the movies... la la la.  I'm reading this book about success, about getting from where you are to where you want to be.  It's about knowing yourself, setting goals, and then mastering them.

Today I made my goal list.  I decided on a list of ten.  Not sure if I feel like being open enough to share them with the world, but they are written down, written inside my lovely personal design journal.  My goals range from my own personal career success to personal relationships and family life to physical fitness aims.

I read this story about Jim Carrey before he made it big in the acting world.  He drove himself up to Mulholland Drive looking out over the beautiful homes and set his goals, he wrote himself a very large check... a way of setting his own goals for what he wanted to achieve.  He post dated the check for when he expected to reach his goal, he did it - he achieved his goal by the date he set on the check he wrote to himself.  When his father died, he put the check in his father's hand when he passed away because of the support he had received from his dad.  Today, I wrote myself a check...  It was in the amount I want to earn from my own personal business that I have set as a goal for myself.  I pasted the check inside my journal with a post date of the time frame for when I expect to get where I want to be.  I post dated it to my 30th birthday - January 6, 2014.  I too have great support from my family and friends.  I too will get there.

I have some personal struggles to overcome.  I'm working through those at the moment.  Sometimes it's easy and sometimes it's hard.  All I know is that I need to stay strong and most importantly stay POSITIVE.  I keep thinking of my plan for when I graduate.  Right now I'm brainstorming a couple of ideas... we shall see what I decide as the time gets closer to the end of the year.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Expectations, Broken Promises and Disappointment

I think we have all been there - step 1:  having expectations, step 2:  broken promises and then comes step 3:  disappointment.  I'm tired of being disappointed.  I'm sure it is an inevitable feeling which some people may just try and avoid by not having expectations.  However, then you live in LALA Land.  I think that is a good reason why many refer to LA as LALA Land.  So many people are on this so called journey to make it big, be somebody and do something amazing.  However most of who I meet are people falling short, working in lame jobs with crazy addictions.  People talk a big game but where are the actual strong players?  What is this fantasy world anyway?  Perhaps I'm just the "square" that doesn't fit in here and I am more than ok with that.

I'm glad I'm here right now seeing these examples first hand.  I'm learning everyday what I do and do not want in my life.  I graduate from my program in approximately five months which will then leave the door open for me and my next decision in life.  Each life experience has taught me important lessons.  I've seen a lot and have a good perspective about what is good.  Because of this, I am amazed at how distorted the general population's view is.

Life is not easy, but it is worth it!  An example of what I saw today to show how life is not easy, were the three crazy people I saw when I was walking to school.  They were out of their minds, yelling and screaming and then talking calmly to no one.  So bizarre.  Then there were the ten homeless people, pee stained sidewalks, and teenagers panhandling for drugs.  Yeah, this is what I see on a daily basis and it is sad.  I'm sure there are worse situations out there, however that still doesn't make it right.  What makes life worth it for me right now, is knowing that I'm doing something I have always dreamed of - going to an amazing fashion design school.  I can check a big item off of "my life list".  There are also some amazing sites living in a major city with the tall buildings, city lights, and diversity.  These amazing sites are things I will take and store as the good memories of my time living in LA.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Thought of the Day

"Being oneself requires the determination to move beyond one's cultural origins, not to mention the courage to combine remnants from here and there in the creation of a design in step with current fashion.  This is how I will express my voice."

I keep thinking to myself, this thing isn't going to make itself, I have to.  It's a path that requires step after step.  It's important to keep moving but also enjoy the process.  By me working hard while loving what I do, I can really provide something that makes this world better, more enjoyable, more fabulous.

I know this is what drives me.  This is my passion.  When you can't sleep and wake up at 4 am for no reason but just to design, then you know you have found your true love from a career perspective.

Your whole life you see everyone else around you.  You hear countless opinions.  You wonder who you should be.  Then one day after you have been on one hell of a journey, you wake up.  You realize your dream can be a reality.  Furthermore, it's you who you really want to be.  Now all that is left is DIG DEEP within yourself and pull that inner soul outward and share it with the world.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Summer Anyone?

My newest design! It's a honey yellow halter... triple front tucks with double front bag pockets constructed in a linen fabric. Perfectly fabulous for enjoying the summer in fashion.