Monday, September 28, 2009

Don't Close the Book!

I almost gave up.  My brain tried to talk my heart out of it.  In my head, I thought I could convince myself of the "most rational" decision.  Then again, I took the so called "rational" path for the past seven years and last time I read the news it wasn't awesome to be considered a banker - haha!  Forbes noted "What does an un-employed banker need?  A new career path...".

I was in my car driving away from pursuing my dream.  My head still trying to hold out strong, but my heart kicked in...tears began to fall down my cheeks.  I couldn't stop the way I feel.  After a lot of thinking and really trying to make the smart decision, I never thought I would feel this way and that I would actually get so emotional about trying to make the "rational" decision.  Emotions ruled when I thought about having to close the book on pursing fashion design.

Well what I'm going to do now is wipe the tears from my cheeks and tell my brain to shut up for a little while.  Well at least long enough to get over the "this is too risky" thought.

What does all this mean???  I start fashion design classes at FIDM in LA next Wednesday :)

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

I Want to be The Next Monique Lhuillier

Ok so I'm back from San Diego.  I have been all over the board in places and in thoughts going through my head.  Oh dear it's been an interesting ride.  Oh and the ride's direction is still not quite set.  In the past 24 hours I have been on the track of applying for banking jobs and deciding that going back into what my past seven years of work experience would be the smart thing to do.  Then I have been on the I will just try and start up my business on my own.  And then I have been on the track of I should NOT give up on my dreams.

A dream is an aspiration, a goal, an aim.

One of the most famous designers that went to school in LA at FIDM is Monique Lhuillier.  I love her designs and what she has done with her business.  She also has the cutest family and house in Bel Air.  If I could trade places or seek to have a similar life as someone, it would be Monique's.

If I have talent, work hard, never give up, and network I will be able to live my dream.  I have to keep reminding myself that this is a process, it's not going to be easy, and it's not going to happen over night.  PERSEVERANCE will be my key.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

LA ~ Stands for Less Assurance

Monday turned out to be the day my little Mini Cooper made its way officially from coast to coast; I reached LA.  My plan was to check out the FIDM LA campus in person and potential places for me to rent.  Within minutes of being around the campus and in LA, my gut wasn't liking the scene.  My head was unsure.  My heart sunk.  I spent time touring the campus and the area, still feeling the love for fashion but unsure about the LA scene all together.  So here I am now, trying to take some time to clear my head and perhaps explore a different route.  This decision I thought I was making turned out to be different than my initial expectations, however I just want the end decision to feel like I have made the right decision.

Am I giving up? Absolutely not.  I'm exploring my options and hoping that I will get the "this feels like the right decision" feeling.

The next stop... the lovely city of San Diego.  I will make my way to SD this weekend for a little fun in the sun as well as taking a look at the SD campus that was newly constructed by FIDM less than a year ago.  What are my expectations?  Well they are open.  I want to compare the different campuses and explore the idea of living in SD.  I have spent time in SD before and have a better sense of what life is like there better than LA.  There is also a chance I may decide to pursue fashion design on my own and execute ideas without school if I decide school is going to be more of a burden than advantage.  At this point it is hard to say what exactly will happen.  I really like the idea of taking a look at what is out there and sizing up my options.  I know I want to make the right decision for me and do what is best for me.  I am going to actively explore options that I believe will be good for me and entertain the idea that I may need to be patient in figuring the next steps out.  So here we go... onward... and the adventure saga continues... dunn, dunnnn, dunnnnn!!!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Time vs. Money

These two factors alone can cause a person so much stress.  My situation is somewhat difficult.  I quit my job and made some decisions that did not work out well for me.  I learned a lot and experienced a lot but when it comes down to the "game of life" - we need a job and we need money to survive and time is against us.  So here I am trying to figure out my current struggle/challenge of life.  I have my dream in the horizon and I'm hoping I can get there.  However due to the lovely economic conditions we are experiencing and for who knows how long, I almost feel like my hands and feet are tied and I'm in the bottom of a swimming pool trying to reach the surface.  My odds aren't looking so good to get to the top for a breathe of air.  It's everyday I realize more and more how daring my decisions are.  However, call me crazy, but there is something inside of me that knows I will make it.  Something keeps propelling me, pushing me to get there.  I need to make it.

Over the next month I will deal with adjusting to another part of the country, not really knowing anyone, job searching in one of the most difficult cities to find employment, starting a full time schedule of classes (which I am very excited about bytheway!), but will be a very busy girl.  Through all the struggles and challenges I have gone through, I just keep thinking I am going to be one freaking strong lady when all is said and done.  Things that I have learned are people who really care will be there to help out, even if it's just a "you can do it, I believe in you" cheer, it can make a huge difference.  I have also learned some people will lead you astray and if you allow them to get close to you it will hurt very badly.  Going through these experiences basically sucks, but that's just life I guess.  You got to take the good with the bad.

I just keep thinking once I get through this, then I will be happy and everything will be ok.  Funny thing is, now that I've been through some struggles, I have learned once you get through one another one comes up.  It's like that game I played when I was a youngster - I had this huge foam hammer and the concept was to hit all of the golphers when they popped up from their holes on this arcade box.  Each of the golphers is a problem/challenge in life, I hit one and another one pops up.  I have a feeling it's going to be like this all of my life.  What I get from playing "the game" is experience.  With experience I become faster and better at hitting those damn golphers.  With life experience I become stronger and smarter in dealing with the next challenge.

My dream is still there and nobody is going to take that away from me, I won't let anyone.  When I want something bad enough nobody can stop me, that's just something this world is going to have to deal with! :)

I composed this article to express that dreams can happen but they are not easy to obtain, we have to work for them, sometimes we have to give up just about everything for them.  Blood, sweat, and tears!  This article is also for your entertainment and yet again for my writing therapy... thanks for reading.

Tonight's blog is dedicated to a good friend who sent me a text about thirty minutes ago saying "You will find a way... You are far from defeated.  I'm amazed at your effort and accomplishment, despite adversity."  Thanks buddy, I needed to hear that!

Friday, September 4, 2009

"Do I look happy? I should — for I was a child nobody wanted. A lonely girl with a dream — who awakened to find that dream come true. I am Marilyn Monroe. Read my Cinderella story."

We all recognize the style icon - Marilyn Monroe.  However, I'm sure there are some things you didn't know about Miss Monroe.  After doing a little reading about this lovely lady, I have gained a different kind of respect for her based upon her life before stardom.

Marilyn was born as Norma Jeane Mortenson on June 1st, 1926 in Los Angeles.  Marilyn got a rough start at life.  She definitely was not born into a high class family, in fact Marilyn didn't really even have a family.  She grew up in foster homes.  Her birth certificate lists her father's name but with his residence stated as "unknown".  Her mom was mentally unstable and financially unable to care for her so she was placed into foster care.  Marilyn's mother eventually suffered a mental breakdown.  In My Story, Monroe recalls her mother "screaming and laughing" as she was taken into an institution.  In 1942, at the age of only 16, Marilyn was pressured to marry the fellow she was dating at the time because the foster home she was in could no longer care for her.  That relationship lasted about four years.  Marilyn then pursued her dreams and found her way to Hollywood!  Marilyn was captivated by Jean Harlow and decided to bleach her hair blonde and take her own lead based off things she loved about Jean Harlow.  Jean Harlow was an American film actress and sex symbol of the 1930s, known as the "Platinum Blonde".

In 1951, Joe DiMaggio saw a picture of Monroe with some Chicago White Sox players and was later set up on a date with her in 1952.  Monroe said she did not want to meet him, fearing that he was going to be a stereotypical jock.  They eloped on January 14th, 1954 (she was 28 years old).  The two separated and were divorced later that same year.  Marilyn eventually remarried yet again, this next time to Arthur Miller in 1956.  Her love life, shall we say, was a bit complicated! ;)

Marilyn passed away August 5th, 1962, at the age of 36 (only the good die young).  She is in a crypt space in Westwood Village Memorial Park Cemetery in Los Angeles.

The crypt space immediately to the left of Monroe's was bought and reserved by Hugh Hefner in 1992.  In August 2009, the crypt space directly above that of Monroe was placed for auction and sold for $4.6 million.

Marilyn's Favorites:
Colors:  Beige, Black, White, Red
Artists:  Goya, Picasso, El Greco, Michelangelo, Botticelli
Beverage:  Dom Perignon 1953
Book:  How Stanislavsky Directs by Michael Gorchakov
Singers:  Ella Fitzgerald, Frank Sinatra
Poets:  John Keats, Walt Whitman
Restaurant:  Romanoff's (in Hollywood)
Store:  Bloomingdale's
Perfume:  Chanel No. 5

Interesting Stuff:
Height:  5 ft 5 1/2 inches
Weight:  115-120 lbs
Measurements:  37-23-36 (Studio's Claim); 35-22-35 (Dressmaker's Claim)

This girl amazes me with what she accomplished while having nothing handed to her in her childhood.  It's amazing the things she overcame when she was a little girl.  It definitely goes to show you if you have enough passion and just never give up, you can make your dreams happen!  Go Marilyn!!!  You rock girl!  We love you!