Friday, October 22, 2010


What and If are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of you life: What if? What if? What if? You only need courage to follow your heart... 

So then, follow your ♥ !

I recently watched the movie "Up in the Air", it had a great message overall but one line that I loved was this:  "Do you know why little kids love professional athletes so much?"  The answer was because professional athletes follow their dreams.  Life becomes magical when you do just that.  It's time we all ask ourselves about what it is that we are passionate about, what it is that we want to experience, what it is that we want our lives to aspire to.  It's never too late!!!  I will say this again - If you aren't living your dreams, you're already dead.  

So who is this gal you ask, what business does she have gett'n up on her soap box preach'n to the crowd about liv'n your dreams, well if you've been reading my blog since day one then you will realize the shape that my journey is taking.  I hit the reset button and quit a high profile job to take the biggest risks of my life to pursue fashion design.  The journey is underway and still going, this is a dream I will spend the rest of my life developing.  Fashion is never finished ;-)  There are  other dreams I aspire to have that go along with my design pursuits and those will be my next paths I will take once I graduate from FIDM in eight short weeks.  What an exciting yet perhaps a little scary time this is in my life!  What's the next step?  Where do I go from here?  I know what I want, now to look at the plan and tackle the first and next and next tasks to get there.  

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Lucky to be Here

I can't help but count the days I have left in LA when it feels like there are so few left (only approximately 60 days).  When the end of a story approaches sometimes in our lives it is bitter sweet.  Going to fashion design school at FIDM has always been a dream of mine.  This was one of those dreams I thought would always remain just a dream.  I couldn't fathom it actually becoming a reality.  Well it's a reality, and I'm kicking butt at it.  I love it.  I could design all day and night, and I actually have to prove that I can do just that frequently with my busy schedule and intense curriculum.  It's a good thing I love it so much.

It's going to be hard to leave the comfort of some of the very fun friendships I've ever experienced here in LA.  I've met some amazing people who I would do anything for.  LA has been a place where I've been able to fully be who I am.  The circle of people I've been so blessed to meet have done nothing but hold their arms wide open for me.  That will always be in my heart forever.

On another note - I won't miss the crazies talking to thin air and all the homeless people peeing on the sidewalk.  I won't miss the weirdos who follow me on the street and completely creep me out.  I won't miss the druggies trying to bum 63 or 42 or 57 cents off of me to "ride the bus".  I won't miss the plastic Hollywood clubbing losers.  Haha, but these experiences have helped me to see reality for what it is, to really evaluate the direction I want my life to head in.  Seeing this has made me realize how much I want to have a family of my own, how much I want to find an awesome guy to fall madly in love with and experience being a mom someday.

LA took me as I was and will shortly be sending me out a better person.  I've seen my share of devils in this angel town.  Who would have guessed that I would find me - who I am - here in LA.  Thank you LA!  But you're not getting rid of me quite yet, we've still got 60 days :)  Let's make the best of it!!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

10 Weeks

10 weeks left in LA, [I think].  10 weeks until I graduate from my Fashion Design program at FiDM.  10 weeks until another chapter finishes and time to start a new one.  10 weeks until no more hustle and bustle of the big horizontal city.  10 weeks until I get to embark on a new journey.  But until then, the next 10 weeks are going to be the 10 weeks that shape and develop who I am.  These next 10 weeks may just be the most critical 10 weeks I might have in my life for a while.  It's hard to say what will develop after this, I know what I have in mind and it will be a matter of working hard to get it, but it will take time.

I'm back in LA, got back last night.  I felt like a stranger strolling around the unusual rainy streets this evening after being away for a couple of weeks.  When I transition from Salt Lake City, Utah to LA I feel like I'm on a whole different planet.  It almost feels like another time period.  I can't say that it's entirely a positive or a negative feeling, perhaps a bit of both.  Living here is not something you can describe or accurately express to those outside, but it is merely an experience to be understood by only those who too have lived in LA.  I'm sure I will spend the next two weeks readjusting to the place that I consider home for now.

Today I felt alone in a city that has over 8 million people.  Yes there are many many many people out there in LA, however I find myself just wanting to almost shut it all out for now.  I came here to do one thing - study Fashion Design.  Self mastery will be my focus.  Sorry world, you are just going to have to keep all of your problems for a later time.  I've only got 10 weeks left!